Thursday, September 11, 2008

September 11th 2008, The Pressure Between My Ears

September 11th, 2008. In other words, another anniversary of 9-11, 911, 9-1-1, or however you want to look at it. The numbers 9-1-1 have multiple meanings to me. And they fuel a flood of emotions when I hear them.

I was a cop (please note the small "c") for many years. When the 911 phone rang, it usually sent me into something that was fucked up. My wife is a 911 dispatcher (note the small "d"). When I was a cop, I learned to hate dispatchers, I still do, and always will. I hate my wifes (note the small "w") employer (note the small "e") and I hate hearing about her job. This is because its fucked up, and fucked up people pick up the phone and dial 911 when they have run out of intelligence (note the small "i").

They calll 911 when they hate their neighbor, they call 911 when they are beating on each other (wifes also beat on husbands SURPRIZE!), they call 911 when they get objects stuck up their ass (I'll let you figure that one out) and they call 911 when the kiddies won't listen.

Then came 9-11, you know, the day someone flew airplanes into buildings and into the ground, killed a bunch of people, changed a bunch of things? You remember? I kinda do. But then comes those feelings. They are so hard to dismiss!

I heard a freightening thing just yesterday about the elevated suicide rate amongst soldiers in Iraq. Heres a blurb; The military also is working to solve the issue of soldiers awaiting medical care. Since November, about 1,900 of the 4,400 troops waiting for medical care have been treated. The medical attention mentioned here, of course refers to mental health care.

When I heard this on September 10th, knowing the next day was 9-11, what I really felt was numb. No feelings in all actuallity are bad feelings. Its like a death unmourned, a love never realized, a dream crushed.

So whats been lost, not realized and whats been crushed?

First of all, whats been lost is our sense of country. Over the last twenty years or so, our sense of being an American Citizen(s) has been watered down. We have been legislated in to accepting differences in others and have been criminally prosecuted for feeling or saying any different. We have been forced into believing that any type of biased is inherently evil. We are now taught from a very young age that looking at anyone differently will result in severe punishment at all levels.

What is unrealized? The American dream which has been a promised and laid on the table of our lives has been ripped from our hearts and trampled upon by everyone above the rank of city or town mayor. That includes the Captains of industry who pockets have been well lined by the loss of the American public. Even those who are new to this country are being taken advantage of. But rest assured, the next generation of imigrants will know this.
Whats been crushed? Our voice, our self esteem and our sense of well-being. such things are important things.
Ok Sergeant Stevens, whats your point?
The point is, that you don't take the inner child that you have programed to feel extreme gulit at recognizing another persons difference, hand him a machine gun, try to reprogram him or her to fight a war. This act in itself is inherently distructive to the human mind.
Make sure that those that you send out to do your shit work are well well rewarded, treated with respect and dignity and given the tools they need to recover.
Restore our national sense of well-being. Everyone, including the goverment and industry needs to look out for us first, and other nations last, jobs need to stay here and all employees / soldiers need to be reassured that they have rights and representation.
Sgt. Stevens

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