I hope you don't mind my observation, but I am concerned for your well being. Is that a limp that you're walking with? What type of injury has brought you to this sad, low and lonely place? What unseen hazard or secret enemy has found it's way into your soul to cause you such damage? Is our house filled with pit falls and stumbling blocks? Are the floor boards loose and the foundation showing it's flaws? Have you fallen down the back stairs while taking out the trash? Or is that your condition is systemic, a type of cancer perhaps?
It could be that your condition is hereditary, handed down through years of bondage and perceived fear and loathing of what you covet. Could this unbridled self pity be the cause of your ailment? Have you seen the Doctor? Did you know that those who are currently nursing you back to health are in fact doctors of old? Blood letting faded from memory long ago .. It's time to go to a modern doctor. One who will prescribe what you really need and use modern techniques to fix your limp.
It's time to realize that the doctors in the white coats were there before the great emancipator stepped into the operating theater. Freedom was the medicine which you refuse to swallow. The Plantation owner was your mother and she has passed onto the next life and left you alone of this plane of existence to fend for your self now.... freedom is all you need. That and gods intellect which he gave you ... or have you been abandoned by god?